Dear Reader,
Humbly Yours,
Christopher
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
70 AD
Dear Reader,
I think the destruction of my relationship with RA is complete. I don't think there is a stone left standing on another. It has been burnt to the ground, laid to ruin. Mr Fisher said that it needed to be and I think it has been. Never have I has such destruction with a friend, it's been a waring and tiring destruction. It's destruction has God's finger prints all over it. I tried in vain to hold it together and in my trying I was blind to see I was destroying it. He has had to so totally destroy it so that I don't have any hope of rebuilding it. He has destroyed what I was wanting to build my future on, but only on Christ must I build my future and He has laid waist any hope of a foundation to start with. It's is in ruins, lost and desolate. Now I have only Christ.
Why am I so downcast? Trust in God! He is the rock to build on and not the shifting sand! Don't bee a fool and morn over loosing all to find Christ!
Christopher
I think the destruction of my relationship with RA is complete. I don't think there is a stone left standing on another. It has been burnt to the ground, laid to ruin. Mr Fisher said that it needed to be and I think it has been. Never have I has such destruction with a friend, it's been a waring and tiring destruction. It's destruction has God's finger prints all over it. I tried in vain to hold it together and in my trying I was blind to see I was destroying it. He has had to so totally destroy it so that I don't have any hope of rebuilding it. He has destroyed what I was wanting to build my future on, but only on Christ must I build my future and He has laid waist any hope of a foundation to start with. It's is in ruins, lost and desolate. Now I have only Christ.
Why am I so downcast? Trust in God! He is the rock to build on and not the shifting sand! Don't bee a fool and morn over loosing all to find Christ!
Christopher
Depravity
Dear Reader,
Oh the depth of the depravity of man! How even our good and most pure works are but filth. It's not because God's eyes are so pure that it looks as filth, it's because it is filth! How even my best motives, my deepest passions, my humblest attitudes are so enwrapped in sin! The depth of my depravity is still unknown by me! I am deceive myself about it, it exudes from my every gesture. When I write, speak, act it's but slight traces of goodness in a mire of waist. Who will relieve me from this body of death? I thank God through Jesus Christ that I am captive to Christ and Him alone.
What can I say that does not condemn me? My actions have to my friends, yes even my dearest friend have been nothing but debauchery, selfishness.... sin. I am a slander, a back biter, a deceiver, full of envy, selfishness, strife, greed, and disobedience. My sin is before me and I am appalled at it. My friend who I accused has treated me with kindness, myself who boasted of kindness unknowingly has stabbed her back. My deception is great, even to myself.
Temptation is all around. If I where asked to choose who would it be? Would I choose her if she was willing or Christ? I must choose Christ but would I? Today I was struck by how much I did want to forget what I have said, to be friends again even though I know what I am doing is right. To go back, to leave Christ as my focus would be a great sin, but oh what a temptation! My weakness is great! How easily would I fold to be with her when I know I must not! God deliver me from temptation, but grant restoration.
Humbly Your Servant,
Christopher
Oh the depth of the depravity of man! How even our good and most pure works are but filth. It's not because God's eyes are so pure that it looks as filth, it's because it is filth! How even my best motives, my deepest passions, my humblest attitudes are so enwrapped in sin! The depth of my depravity is still unknown by me! I am deceive myself about it, it exudes from my every gesture. When I write, speak, act it's but slight traces of goodness in a mire of waist. Who will relieve me from this body of death? I thank God through Jesus Christ that I am captive to Christ and Him alone.
What can I say that does not condemn me? My actions have to my friends, yes even my dearest friend have been nothing but debauchery, selfishness.... sin. I am a slander, a back biter, a deceiver, full of envy, selfishness, strife, greed, and disobedience. My sin is before me and I am appalled at it. My friend who I accused has treated me with kindness, myself who boasted of kindness unknowingly has stabbed her back. My deception is great, even to myself.
Temptation is all around. If I where asked to choose who would it be? Would I choose her if she was willing or Christ? I must choose Christ but would I? Today I was struck by how much I did want to forget what I have said, to be friends again even though I know what I am doing is right. To go back, to leave Christ as my focus would be a great sin, but oh what a temptation! My weakness is great! How easily would I fold to be with her when I know I must not! God deliver me from temptation, but grant restoration.
Humbly Your Servant,
Christopher
Monday, November 19, 2007
My Rock
"God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way"
Dear Reader,
What a verse this is! It seems so many times in life that things go crazy! People can think ill of you that you would never have imagined, things happen that seem absurd and it can be a time when worry can set in because there is nothing that seems you can do to fix the problem. That is why it's so comforting to know that it doesn't mater what other people think (it does, but not for your peace) nor how things in life are going. With God in your sights the world can fall apart but we, I, stand on the Rock. I will not be shaken. Peace is so comforting in this even when terror is so near.
God Bless!
Humbly Yours,
Christopher
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way"
Dear Reader,
What a verse this is! It seems so many times in life that things go crazy! People can think ill of you that you would never have imagined, things happen that seem absurd and it can be a time when worry can set in because there is nothing that seems you can do to fix the problem. That is why it's so comforting to know that it doesn't mater what other people think (it does, but not for your peace) nor how things in life are going. With God in your sights the world can fall apart but we, I, stand on the Rock. I will not be shaken. Peace is so comforting in this even when terror is so near.
God Bless!
Humbly Yours,
Christopher
Saturday, November 17, 2007
What A Day!
Dear Reader,
This has been some day that's for sure! I made 6 dollars at work today! It was HORRIBLY slow! But during that time I was able to read some and before work I went over and talked to Mr. Hargis. It is always a good day when I talk with him, he like Mr. Fisher pretty well always has sound advice and I am always blessed and provoked to reflect after talking with ether of them.
I have been reading a book by John Owen, volume 6 named "Temptation and Sin". It's a phenomenal book! At least I am learning a tone from it but I believe that is because God is pouring out His spirit on me in so many ways! The bible has more meaning and depth than I have ever seen and books that normally I would never be able to finish are catching me with such truth and power that I have a hard time putting them down!
And in all this I find my self full of a great amount of peace but accompanied with a great amount of sadness. My heart at times is so distraught because of my own sinfulness, my friends who are Christians but don't exercise His power in their lives, the state of the church, the fact that I am so self-centered and lazy and just so many things to list I can not put them all down. In all this I find a promise, if I seek Christ I will find Him and I so desperately want to plum the depths of His goodness. In all this I only find more questions I have about life and myself and what He wants me to do and how to do it. I have so much to learn and do right now let alone where i want to see myself in the future! I have so many things where my life must change to follow Him and at the same time it's only a stepping stone to where I want to be in the next several years. I can not wait to continue to seek Him!
Such joy I have and such sorrow! I know my Lord and Savior and I know He is taking care of all things and every one but at the same time a heart of such grief overwhelms me and my prayers! My prayers seem to be continually on my lips bringing my heart to Him through out the day for I am burdened.
My Redeemer Lives! My Savior saves! My LORD rescue us....
Humbly Yours,
Christopher
This has been some day that's for sure! I made 6 dollars at work today! It was HORRIBLY slow! But during that time I was able to read some and before work I went over and talked to Mr. Hargis. It is always a good day when I talk with him, he like Mr. Fisher pretty well always has sound advice and I am always blessed and provoked to reflect after talking with ether of them.
I have been reading a book by John Owen, volume 6 named "Temptation and Sin". It's a phenomenal book! At least I am learning a tone from it but I believe that is because God is pouring out His spirit on me in so many ways! The bible has more meaning and depth than I have ever seen and books that normally I would never be able to finish are catching me with such truth and power that I have a hard time putting them down!
And in all this I find my self full of a great amount of peace but accompanied with a great amount of sadness. My heart at times is so distraught because of my own sinfulness, my friends who are Christians but don't exercise His power in their lives, the state of the church, the fact that I am so self-centered and lazy and just so many things to list I can not put them all down. In all this I find a promise, if I seek Christ I will find Him and I so desperately want to plum the depths of His goodness. In all this I only find more questions I have about life and myself and what He wants me to do and how to do it. I have so much to learn and do right now let alone where i want to see myself in the future! I have so many things where my life must change to follow Him and at the same time it's only a stepping stone to where I want to be in the next several years. I can not wait to continue to seek Him!
Such joy I have and such sorrow! I know my Lord and Savior and I know He is taking care of all things and every one but at the same time a heart of such grief overwhelms me and my prayers! My prayers seem to be continually on my lips bringing my heart to Him through out the day for I am burdened.
My Redeemer Lives! My Savior saves! My LORD rescue us....
Humbly Yours,
Christopher
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thousand Deaths
Well my blog seems almost forgotten, there still seem to be a few people from time to time who drop in and read it but the number is dwindling. I don't mind to much, it's a place I write more for myself than for others really.
It seems I have had to die a thousand deaths so far and perhaps I will have to die another thousand deaths before my next blog. Hour after hour I have to look to God for strength and guidance. I have been in prayer almost continually today, asking for clarity, strength, understanding, hope, and peace. It's been a time of seeking answers for new questions, trying to understand how God works in our lives and what He expects us to do. It also is a time where I am trying to find what I must be if I am truly to be a person sold to Christ. In many ways so many of my questions remain unanswered, but in time I know the answers will show themselves.
In the movie selection, I recommend Amazing Grace and Pride and Predigest (new one) for your watching.
Humbly Yours,
Christopher
It seems I have had to die a thousand deaths so far and perhaps I will have to die another thousand deaths before my next blog. Hour after hour I have to look to God for strength and guidance. I have been in prayer almost continually today, asking for clarity, strength, understanding, hope, and peace. It's been a time of seeking answers for new questions, trying to understand how God works in our lives and what He expects us to do. It also is a time where I am trying to find what I must be if I am truly to be a person sold to Christ. In many ways so many of my questions remain unanswered, but in time I know the answers will show themselves.
In the movie selection, I recommend Amazing Grace and Pride and Predigest (new one) for your watching.
Humbly Yours,
Christopher
Life in Christ
My dear reader,
God never stands still, He is always growing His children and He never leaves them to stagnate. This Saturday will mark the one year mark of my knowing Ruth-Ann. In God's design He has done many things and in His humor decided to end them precisely 1 year to the week. I find He will not share me. He will not let me have anything in life that shares part of my affection with Him. He continues to strip away everything that I so long for and leaves me with nothing but Him. It's a beauty that is inexplicable but it's one that comes at a cost. It's not always easy to deny everything you hold dear to follow Christ but unless you do you will not find the joy in the denying all. It's a joy of doing right, it's a joy of knowing that He will be there and in it there is not regret. Although perhaps there is some sorrow from the heart that causes you to have to remember that the prize you receive is far greater than the thing or person you had to give up.
His faithfulness prevails, His love never ceases, and when you surrender all to Him He will never leave you with less... even if you can't see how there could ever be anything better.
Humbly Your Servant,
Christopher
God never stands still, He is always growing His children and He never leaves them to stagnate. This Saturday will mark the one year mark of my knowing Ruth-Ann. In God's design He has done many things and in His humor decided to end them precisely 1 year to the week. I find He will not share me. He will not let me have anything in life that shares part of my affection with Him. He continues to strip away everything that I so long for and leaves me with nothing but Him. It's a beauty that is inexplicable but it's one that comes at a cost. It's not always easy to deny everything you hold dear to follow Christ but unless you do you will not find the joy in the denying all. It's a joy of doing right, it's a joy of knowing that He will be there and in it there is not regret. Although perhaps there is some sorrow from the heart that causes you to have to remember that the prize you receive is far greater than the thing or person you had to give up.
His faithfulness prevails, His love never ceases, and when you surrender all to Him He will never leave you with less... even if you can't see how there could ever be anything better.
Humbly Your Servant,
Christopher
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